Caring for yourself or self care.....I think we confuse the two, unfortunately. Self care these days is promoted as bubble baths and running errands. Don't get me wrong getting a good pedicure is definitely self care but, there's so much more to careing for ones self.
When we confuse self care we start to think it's all material, when in reality digging down deep to the issue of needing the self care in the first place is necessary. Maybe you had bad flares that week and couldn't get out of bed, getting meditation in while laying in bed is self care. I know when I have a bad flare I don't want to do anything but, reminding myself it's necessary to care for me even if it's just a five minute meditation, then I go back to binge watching Gilmore Girls, lol!
Stop for one minute while reading this.......take a deep breath......then ask yourself what do I truly need.
This is a question in our busy lives that we forget to ask ourselves. This is the depths of self care searching our minds on a higher level to find what we are truly missing. Self care for me is an escape (this sounds counterproductive but, bare with me) because, I cannot solve all of our day to day problems (my son has a migraine today, these are common unfortunately and I cannot fix this) I tend to internalize them and feel frustrated, weak, and angry. I cannot get rid of his pain, this takes me mentally to a place that is uncontrollable. So when I use self care sometimes, it is to escape.
Cooking dinner with music playing is one of my self care coping mechanisms. This is healthy because, I can remove my body as well as my mind from the situation and concentrate on something I can control. For example, how high the temperature is in the pan, how many onions I put in, how much seasonings I put into the dish, etc. This helps to regulate my mind to realize I can only control the tangible. Inturn helps me to be calmer in these situations.
That is true self care.
Remembering to speak nice to myself is definitely self care I need to work on..... I'm the worst at this!
When my body doesn't do what I need it to do(I can't grip my drink or subluxation to my shoulder), I have a tendency to lash out at my body by calling it stupid(yes, a 36 year old woman calling her body stupid, out loud, SMH). This is negative self care or being careless with ones self(notice what I did there, wink, wink), this is a habit I recently notice when my children started doing it to themselves (no one is lying when they say children emulate the people they love).
I realized when my daughter's knee would sublex or my son couldn't feel his fingers they would do the same. Call out loud that their bodies were stupid! (Smack myself on the forehead) Why would I allow them to do this?......I didn't... that's exactly when I realized I cannot do this either.
It is a work in progress, sometimes I have to force myself to care for me or use self care, to not be careless with my body as well as my mind.
I encourage you to find your self care, the real, true kind that opens doors and frees you even if for five minutes. If you can teach yourself to be careful with you, you can truly be content when you need it the most. Don't get caught up in the promotion of the materialistic version so you can find out what truly cleanses your soul.
Until next time be good to others but, more importantly good to yourself!
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